Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
