Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
cat food counts as protein by the way
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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