Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
