dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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