There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
