Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
