So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
