I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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