Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
