Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
