Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
