I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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