he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
