im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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