Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize