i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
