I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize