last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
