What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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