I think i peed on brittanys purse
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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