We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
