yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
