I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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