is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
