Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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