If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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