Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
