somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize