I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
