never play flip cup with pint glasses
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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