My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
organizing the empties. That sober.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
