epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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