You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
