It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize