He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
