Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
