guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
