i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
