So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
