i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Someone came in the potted fern
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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