I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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