I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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