His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
