It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
