What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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