You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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