I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
