did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
