Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
