Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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