Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i now understand why vodka
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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