I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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