Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
