Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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