So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
