Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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