If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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