If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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