just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
