First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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