I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
