if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize